Things have been building up lately, so I've needed to write this blog post for a while.
First things first, I guess you can say that I miss my ex girlfriend to some extent. I miss the positive times we had, beyond the scope of the rest of the relationship. I miss the good moments, the moments where she was able to laugh and have fun with me.
I didn't think it'd hit me, because of how emotionally damaged I am from her (among other damage), but it took some time. Then again, maybe I'm just lonely. Maybe I don't even really miss her and I just miss what the feeling of being with someone is like.
Second thing, I'm losing what real friends feel like. I feel alone. Some people show their real colors after a long while. It's hard for me to feel like I can really trust anyone but my family. Shitty, because I put my all out there..
Third thing, I'm relapsing to old behaviors .. Not drugs, but depressive behavior. I'm lonely as fuck. Romance, friendships, life in general is really taking a toll on me.