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Aug 6, 2014

Lens

  So, to be absolutely honest, I don't even want to go to college for Computer Information Tech.  It was forced upon me because of the closure of the Digital Media program.  It sucks honestly. I love computers, but I don't know how to process these concepts the teacher is giving me.  I think what stumps me the most is that all of these weird commands and script lines are used to make modern day programs, alarm clocks, timers, everything.  I suppose maybe I am not inclined enough due to a lack of motivation.  

  Love life, things are slow, and even worse possibly at a stand still.  I can admit that I obviously just am not 'boyfriend' type of material.  It's horrible to think, but who am I kidding?  I thought being in my 20's and all meant that I was going to be in a college dorm.  7 years ago, I remember still talking to an old girlfriend when she was in her dorms at college; that's where I hoped I would picture myself being.  I hoped that I would be there at some dorm having college dorm parties, surprise pranks for people, having women sneak into my dormroom and party the rest of our after-party into the night. 

  This just goes to show you, things change.  Unpredictably, things move on and can sometimes leave some of us in the past. I also thought that I would be in Australia by now and with the one girl I swore at one time was 'who I wanted to be with and truly loved'.  I never thought that she and I would be absolute enemies 5 years down the line.  I never thought I would be using Medical Marijuana to help me get off of my Anti-Anxiety meds without enduring all the painful.

  But I think I'm beginning to understand that Time is a paradox. 

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