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Aug 29, 2012

The Depths of Myself, The Confession.

I don't want to make this go any slower or hold this off any longer with any introduction or any dramatic poetic intro to keep this interesting.  This is my confession.  

 

I want to apologize to everyone I've ever went at wrongfully and said horrible things to, and that I've raged at, people I've been psychotic towards and acted like an animal to.  I don't want this on me anymore, because I've harmed so many people because of my anger and rage that I've let build up and I've used it as a weapon then went overboard.  I want to apologize, and to be honest, if I could take it all back away from everyone I've went at - I would.

I've lost a lot of people in my life - people walked away from me, and almost lost one of the one persons that I love the most because of this rage.  I don't want it anymore, I want it out of me, and to be honest I want to rid myself of it because its only caused havoc.  It was good when I was backed against a corner and had nowhere else to turn because I wasn't physically strong enough or fit to fight back, but otherwise, its been nothing but trouble, as of recently.  I thought I harnessed it, but in reality, I let it consume me, and consume who I am - My rage isn't who I am, I wouldn't dare do what I've said I would do to people in my fits of rage, and now I want to be clear and make it clear - I want it gone, enough to leave it behind me, and lose it forever.  So now I beg for some forgiveness, some prayer or some sort of word, be it God, be it another human, be it whatever, that I am forgiven for what I've done - and that I shall be protected and have the strength to never let myself get to that point anymore.  I'm not religious, but there are times where I ask of religion to help me.  

And now I only want peace.  No more rage, no more hate.  I want to back to the old me and if it takes me however so long, I will go that length.

 

Sincerest, Alex.

Posted via email from We're All A Bit Insane Here

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